One of my facebook friends posted a blog from Mary Beth Chapman (Steven Curtis Chapman's wife) today. The Chapman's tragically lost a daughter last year. Mary Beth posted this blog this past Christmas:
"As I anticipate Christmas 2008, I have many thoughts flying through my heart and head. The last several days, my mind has not been able to stop thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Pregnant and scared, knowing that the baby she was carrying eventually would pay the ultimate price of His life. How would I have lived differently if I knew that my time with Maria was going to be this short? Regretfully, I would have lived much differently. I would have purposely hugged and kissed more. I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles. I would have colored more and worked less. I would have laughed more and fussed less. Bedtime wouldn’t have become a chore to check off the list of things to get done. Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed. The swimming pool wouldn’t have been too cold to swim in. The flowers in the garden would have all been picked, and definitely more ice cream would have been consumed!"
I almost stopped reading the note initially, because I wasn't in the mood to feel sad. But, thankfully I kept reading and was able to embrace this day differently. Although bedtime was still a "chore", all that preceded was a delight. We had lunch together, had a nice outing to the bank, played puppy (I even let Ally lick my cheek a couple of times), split a donut 3 ways at Starbucks (I took the smallest piece), played at a toy store for an hour, and read a nice advent story together. Today was a good day!
Tomorrow I will try harder!